Season 2: Episode #17 "Snake in the Garden"

WARNING! 

 Before reading, all Scandalites should do the following prior to reading this recap to maximize the full effect and intention of the author.

(1) Prepare your favorite cocktail, well a whole batch of your favorite cocktails (Yes, I am going there).
(2) Get relaxed – put on your comfortable clothes.
(3) Once you are comfortable, click on the play icon in the youtube video.

GOING IN CIRCLES 

Many of you have been asking for this recap and it took me a while for many reasons, but most of all because Shonda and the crew of Pope and Associates had me going in circles, “spinning right round baby right round like a record baby” (for you 80’s folks) and I am just getting over the dizziness.

CIRCLE GETS THE SQUARE FOR SHONDA

Where do I begin, let’s begin with poor David Rosen. This poor man can’t catch a break. He has been humiliated worst than Monica Lewiinsky and her spotted dress, relegated to teaching, jumped on by nymphomaniac Abby (even though she wants Harrison) when her libido needs it, and now had his place ransacked. Please send him some Dramamine. Actually Pope and Associates serves as a steadying ground for him as his critical thinking skills begin to click in and his confidence is restored in his abilities to analyze plots and twists. Future Gladiatior in Suit as we have all alluded to.

CIRCLE GETS THE SQUARE FOR MYSTERY RANSACKER (but I think it may have been a Gladiator in Suit plot)

Next on to our Huck-in-training Miss Lindsey/Quinn. She is spinning from the beginning when Hollis Doyle walks in the office as the next client. She was ready to windmill him and had the not been at headquarters I would have laid my money on her. But she needs to listen and follow directions. She was asked by Liv to go to home and get some sleep, BUT NOOOOOOO she wants to question and stand her ground so she gets the FULL MONTY of Hollis’ presence.

CIRCLE GETS THE SQUARE FOR HOLLIS

Fitz I am convinced has lost his dayum mind. He is such a beeyatch about the voting issue that he has completely his vision and perspective with everyone. The drinking has affected him so much that “Ride or Die” Mellie at the end of the episode does her best to snap him back to reality with her monologue/read for the ages….Or was it for her – you know Mellie is all about herself. Cyrus even comes in with a heartfelt dialogue to get him back in friendly with his POTUS/friend/confidant.

NO CIRCLE AWARDED

We were all spinning and reeling from Hollis’ daughter Mae Bell, giving her ode to Van Gogh by cutting her ear off in an attempt to extort $20 million from her dad (who knew from the beginning that this was a setup but changed his mind once he saw the ear). Why did no one put the ear on ice for possible reattachment? Now she can be cast in the next Verizon commercial – CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW? Sadly she won’t be able to…

CIRCLE GETS THE SQUARE FOR MAE BELL – HELL SHE WINS THE WHOLE GAME…THIS BEEYATCH IS $20 MILLION RICHER…

Now where is Cyrus’ partner? Is this gay man so ecstatic about parenthood, that he is planning the 1-year-old birthday party with all of the politically correct fanfare? Did any of you get an invite?

 Liv, Liv, Liv…you spin through all of this with such ease. Handling Jake’s double secret spy shenanigans, Fitz’s “I can’t trust anyone” attitude, David’s fall from greatness, Hollis’ daughter’s self-orchestrated kidnapping, and leading Pope and Associates with grace and impeccable style. If you give us one more show stopping white outfit, jacket, etc. ITS ON! You know the color white was made for you in this role. Kudos to your stylist.

Finally, let me give a shout out to long missed blog personality Funky Dineva. Girl I thought you had jumped in the casket with Verna. We were dead to our beds, couches, floors, etc. waiting for you to come back with a recap. You really had us in concentric circles spinning out of control. Scandalites as I close do the following: Stand up, Stretch your arms out from left to right Start turning slowly in place to the music Shonda has us going in circles every episode and we love it. We expect it every week and anticipate the spin hoping it casts us into a euphoric state. We are forever your Scandalite Gladiators in Suits…

Humbly submitted.

Willie J. Broussard, Jr., Gladiator in Suit

Season 2: Episode #16 "Top of the Hour"

SCANDALOUS Scandal recap...

(NOTE:  I could not find a good quality video of a college band playing the ESPN theme song so I did find a good quality video of a great upbeat song, so I am sharing it on this recap for you to enjoy).

If you thought March Madness was happening on CBS, BABBYYYY I got news for you – the real March Madness is on ABC at 10PM EST/9PM CST. There were more match-ups, more madness, more mayhem, more mystery…(can I buy a vowel, I am running out of M’s….)

In case you were in awe and shock from having a new episode after a three week hiatus which left you waiting like you were expecting an express Metro train on a holiday Sunday in Washington, DC, here are some of the notable pairings:

• Liv vs Fitz –the game we thought was over. Looks like we are seeing previews of a future March Madness battle for the ages. The trash talking has begin…more talk of ruins than from a history teacher lecturing on the Fall of the Roman Empire.

• Mellie vs. Cyrus – this isn’t really a match-up this is like watching the cheerleader and the not so cute but really nice neighborhood girl vie for the affections of the star quarterback. You figure out who is who…

• Abby vs. Harrison – This has the potential to be an interesting battle but Abby wont let it happen. She wants Harrison so bad (can you blame her?) she doesn’t know what to do which is why she jumps on Rosen every time and in any available space she can find.

• Harrison vs. Company lawyer – sister girl tried to hold her own but I guess she did not do her research. You thought he was pretty and talked fast while you had an army of lawyers…You did not just have a typical lone black lawyer sitting opposite you, beeyatch you had a MF gladiator in suit! Not only did you have A MF gladiator in suit but you had THE HEAD GLADIATOR IN SUIT! When he finishes with you, your hair will be laid like Dr. Lillith Sternin (Cheers) in a bone-snatched bun that will give you an automatic face-lift and vaginal rejuvenation.

• Fitz vs. Mellie (the 16 vs 1 match-up) - Two slam dunks oh I meant slammed doors to the First Lady and GAME OVER.COM!

• Cheating wife vs. Unsuspecting naive pussy whipped husband – this match-up kind of bored me. From the beginning when she said, “Its true – all of it”….you could hear a rat piss on cotton. As Patti Labelle would say, that husband felt like a penny waiting for change…Hubby needs to grow a pair and wake up! Cheating wife advances to next round cuz she clearly has GAME!

• Captain Jake vs. Liv well this may be the secret 8-9 match-up in the making. But it is too early to tell. He may think he is ahead but he doesn’t know the bench strength of Liv’s team.

• Quinn and Huck vs. Mole – this game is too early to call. It appears that the Mole may have the upper hand, but our star 6th man lethal weapon 3-point shooter HUCK has not been put in the game yet. My money is on team QUUCK!

• Liv vs. Cyrus – this one had all the makings for a classic battle (is her vagina apolitical?). Cyrus that was just a flagrant foul bordering on a technical foul. After that it just fizzled - a lot of bark but not to much game being played in the end. And now we’re in overtime, nonetheless. We'll keep the Buffalo Wild Wings coming….along with libations.

Humbly Submitted,

Willie J. Broussard, Jr.
Gladiator in Suit