Well Scandalites, I tell ya…life for me ain’t been no crystal stair. But SHONDA and ABC…YOU LIED…got us all excited once again and then another 3-week hiatus. What is this Scandal on lay-a-way? I mean I can get it quicker at Wal-mart…Shonda says it is out of her hands, but I have a comment on that. Ms. Rhimes you have given ABC four STELLAR shows, you have considerable input so don’t come tweeting me a message that reeks like a freshly plowed manure field in the country.
SHONDA …YOU LIED!!!
This episode… Lord this episode …where do I begin. Well we open with Liv giving the all clear to Molly and David since it is assumed that the CIA Director was the mole. They pack their respective bags then the shiggady hits the fan and we find out that Molly lied for various sundry reasons. They confront her and she gives a song and dance about wanting her life spared but would not leave Dulles and go back to Pope and Associates for protection. (In the immortal words of Trina, “You crazy whore, dumb crazy whore…”). Next thing we know Miss Molly is being served chilled and not shaken in the morgue with a reserved plot next to Verna. In lieu of flowers, contributions can be made to the Wayward Women’s Shelter in Molly’s name.
MOLLY YOU LIED
Well I asked where James was and I got my answer. Sometimes you just shouldn’t ask the question. 10 months later and you have kicked you hubby out of the house (now you know I would have been singing from Dreamgirls, “and I am telling you I’m not going…) How in the hell you gonna make me go check into a hotel when I am paying mortgage and the bills in the house. All because Cyrus told the truth when asked. Hmmmm. But you rather him have lied to you…Hindsight is always 20/20. Kudos to Cyrus for finally growing some balls and checking out of the hotel. It took you 23 days to realize that…Let me counsel the two of you because I cannot have your daughter doing these things when she grows up.
DON’T PLAY THAT SONG FOR JAMES…
Huck is off his game. I don’t know if he is so enamored with Quinn that he has lost his footing but this beatdown and imprisonment should bring back the Huck we know and love. My condolences to those in his path cuz it won’t be pretty. And why in the hell are you a creature of habit when it comes to checking Liv’s apartment for bugs. I would be doing random pop-up sweeps weekly. Do you know the kind of people you deal with in Washington, DC?
David Rosen please get the name right you are not a future Gladiator in Helmet…I was dead to the floor on that one…But didn’t you love the way he jumped in with a viable solution to help the team. I see a bright future for this young man. But he gotta stop playing that song with Abby about you stole the chip…GEEZ! As Aretha says, “Don’t play it no more, I can’t stand it…”
DAVID ROSEN DON’T PLAY THE SONG
Harrison I need for you to get a storyline or something. I love you to death and so do most of the female Scandalites in the group but I need more from you. I guess I should be directing this to Shonda’s LYING A$$ but I digress. You keep the team organized and on track and step up to the game in Liv’s absence. You just keep us wanting more…
WE WANNA HEAR YOUR SONG
Mellie and Fitz…You two are Character Approved. You effortlessly snowed the American public with that fake interview. You all have told so many lies about first dates and other romantic tidbits of your life that you two don’t even remember the truth. Mellie sold like Miss Celie to Mister on a cold winter’s day.
MELLIE AND FITZ YOU LIED
Liv OH Liv, this show should have been titled, “Liv girl, you in Danger”…Jake is playing you better than the first chair violin in the Boston Symphony. And you danced to his melody until you clothes came off and you gave up the goods. Then you turn on the TV to see your apartment. POW!!! You should have caught the hint earlier when he alluded to you not cooking in your kitchen. You are so preoccupied with him and Fitz that you didn’t catch that. WAKE UP CAROL ANN…DON’T GO INTO THE LIGHT…too late you did. Now you are dead to the hospital bed. And who shows up but El Presidente…who put his head on your shoulders and now Jake also is about to be dead to the hospital bed…
JAKE YOU LIED (and it bit you in you’re a$$)
Now my Scandalites I know you are in a state of upheaval but we have been through this before and we will make it for three weeks. Time to recruit new Scandalites and send them to Boot Camp (that would be Netflix for Season 1, and ABC for season 2) and vet them for membership to the Scandalites group. We stand together strong 500+…and this too shall pass.
Humbly submitted,
Willie J. Broussard, Jr., Gladiator in Suit
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