Season 3: Episode #4 "Say Hello to My Little Friend"

Ok Gladiators, gather ‘round! 
I tried to tole’jhal that Pope & Associates was 1 week away from Gladiating from the back seats of their cars! Episode 4 opened with Harrison doing a cute little jig because they managed to drum up some business for the firm. The new client is a philandering senator (jeez, that’s a new one) who has been accused of murdering one of his mistresses.  Yay!  At least for this week, we’re back to the usual Capitol Hill foolishness. Chile, I needed a break from all the heavy conspiracy stuff. 

Sidebar- we are 4 weeks into the season and NO INAPPROPRIATE SEX YET! 
Somebody get Shonda Rhimes on the mainline so I can tell her what I
want!

Anyhoos,  the senator comes clean that he did sext with the woman but maintains that he did NOT kill her.  As what usually happens in these cases, his wife stands by his side, corroborating his story that he just slipped up just this once…. Untiiiiiiil David Rosen, the crafty bastard was able to prove
just the opposite when they got to court.  AND more woman start coming out of the woodwork (it never fails).  You imbecile! Now Liv has to flip the script because instead of running with the original “I only made one mistake” spiel, she now has to make it seem like the woman was just a whore.  Ahhhh, nothing like a little slut-shaming and victim blaming!  
The senators wife was ride or die up until she learned about the additional womanizing that has taken place. Olivia figured it out (a little too late) but the real tea was that Mrs. Thing was the one who actually killed the girl.  Gotta love a take charge woman…except she didn’t think that one all the way through. Like roaches, whores can’t be eliminated by stomping on one.  There’s a whole family multiplying behind the scenes SOMEWHERE.

This week President Mush happens to see a pic of the Navy pilot that Huck killed last week and it piques his interest.  The pilots sister (his only family) was shocked to see POTUS show up at Arlington cemetery when her brother was being buried. Fitz revealed that they were both in the Navy
at the same time and he was footing the bill for the funeral. He also said that he didn’t know the pilot but that he was an American hero. The sister still can’t understand why the freaking president is at her brothers funeral but she’s pleased and star struck so it’s all good.  Off in the distance Huck is
lurking, putting together the pieces of what he had done.  Huck, you gotta do better. You had to know that Papa Pope didn’t leave you some random person for you to have your way with! Eli/Rowan is the best strategist ever. I hate him dearly and he gives me life at the same damn time!

Huck decides to drop in on an AA meeting and purge a little bit of his guilt after his latest
killing.  I guess because they don’t have Sociopaths Anonymous, an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting would have to do in this pinch.  He confesses that he drank some “whiskey” and he liked it and life is all good again now that he’s back off the wagon.  Quinn who can hack into anyone’s email isn’t smart enough to turn her phone on silent when she’s stalking people so when it starts ringing, her cover is blown and Huck sees that she’s been listening in on him at AA.  She’s obviously intrigued and dying to kill her somebody and get a drink of that “whiskey”. She asks Huck questions under the guise of concern but really she just wants to get her life with a bone saw and pliers.

Jake runs up on Huck in the garage trying to get him to conspire together and stick it to
Rowan/Eli (an endeavor that I would not even want to be caught THINKING about). 

In a separate scene, Cyrus in his usual pre-stroke hysteria meets with Rowan because he has figured out that Fitz is kinda-sorta on the scent of figuring out the truth about Operation Remington.  Jake is trying to listen in on the conversation but a bunch of noisy ass kids on recess keep making it
difficult for him to hear all the tea.Can I just say that I am DYING for the big reveal about Remington!!  When this shit all shakes down, it’s going to be an AWESOME night of TV!  Can’t wait! 

Jake takes his incoherent recording to Liv to try to get her on board that treachery is afoot with her
father and Cy but Liv is not here for it.  She doesn’t want to have anything to do with his investigation et al!  #Shutdown

Cut over to Mellie who is doing a speaking engagement.  At the end she’s asked about Phoebe, I mean Lisa Kudrow (who is playing Senator Marcus, a woman democratic presidential candidate).
Wait, before we go on can someone get Lisa Kudrow a microdermabrasion POST
HASTE! She is looking rather… haggardly lately. YIKES!  So anyway, Mellie gives a very diplomatic answer in front of the cameras but .5 seconds after she steps off the screen she talks shit about her…while the mic was on.  *DOH*  she totally had a Joe Biden moment.  We see a tiny lil warm moment between Pres Mush and Mellie when he tries to comfort her now that she’s being dragged for filth by all the newspapers.  He holds her hand.  Very briefly.  Mellie, confused by the outpouring of affection storms away.  The White House, perpetually in damage control mode, Is trying to dig up dirt on Senator Marcus to take the attention off Mellie’s snafu so lo and behold, they find out that the Senator was a teen mom with a child she abandoned (um, I didn’t know THAT
kind of story was big news anymore but whatevs!)

Cut back to Pope and Associates where Quinn gets all up in Hucks business for the last time.  He
tells her to STOP BEING INTERESTED IN HIS KILLING. Just stop. Unless you want to be on the receiving end of some duct tape and a straight razor.

Jake who is still laid up at Liv’s apartment talmbout “Boo you want Chinese tonight?” , pulls Olivia in for an intimate moment where she’s able to let her guard down a little bit.  Finally, the moment I’ve been looking forward to more than Jake- INAPPROPRIATE SEX!  But no, President Mush calls on the phone just as they get to kissing **CURSES**  Fitzy wants to chop it up with LIv about his day but she’s talking in code and being all formal.  Jake, ready to get back to the kissing yells out loud enough to be heard on the Fitz Phone “Bae you want some more wiiiine?”  WELL PLAYED, BALLARD!  Fitz gets all tight in the chest and wants to hurry and end the conversation.  Sorry POTUS, no canoodling on your lipstick shaped phone tonight while you twirl the cord around your fingers and play the “you hang up”, “no YOU hang up” game with Liv.  He’s got an important
meeting to get to anyways… when he hops out of the Town Car and into an office,
he’s standing face to face with Papa Pope.  And. I. Was. Slain.

Written By- Bree Maria
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